Joy.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! –Philippians 4:4

So maybe its just me, but do you ever have those moments in life where you think you have something down pat and all together only to realize how far away you actually are from having it all together? I certainly had one of those humbling moments this week. Joy is a thing in which I never thought I struggled with. Yes, things may be hard but I have always considered my self as one of those people who finds the “silver lining” in situations. Smiling comes naturally to me and to be quite frank with you, at times I really can’t stop.

            The past few weeks have been rather challenging but that’s life. I thought I was handling it all fairly well. That is until I stopped, and looked at myself. What I saw was not what I had expected or wanted to see. It was something deep down that I attempted to hide from myself. While I may have been smiling, I was not joyful. When even the slightest thing went wrong or added to my daily schedule I began to notice how this affected my mood. Rather than being “joyful always” (1^st Thessalonians 5:16) I was just putting up a fasad. I began to realize that the way I was living and acting wasn’t pleasing to God. While I may have acted one way, God see’s my heart and knows my every thought.

            Happiness is a choice, a conscious decision to choose joy in the midst of whatever the circumstance may be. It is the decision to embrace the fact that Jesus died so that we may live. It is the choice to live out the word by being joyful always, and choosing to rejoice in the Lord. God isn’t glorified in my life if I choose to dwell on the temporary rather than seeking the eternal things that wont pass away. While this lifestyle is not the most convenient way to live, it’s the most rewarding. In my opinion, choosing joy and living out that joy, from the inside out, glorifies God so why waste time acting any other way.

Quandary.

So basically I am going to make this short, sweet and to the point. Today I went to the career-counseling center for career guidance, obviously. After reviewing all of my documents and test results things were going pretty well I guess you could say. We hadn’t established anything however. The councilor proceeded to question me for a bit then after answering some questions her response was, “Oh my, you are in quite a “quandary” the only thing you can do is pray.” To be real with you this was not the answer I was looking for. I had been praying and planned on doing so I just needed some extra wisdom. The person who I thought could give me wisdom obviously didn’t even know what to do. This incident reminded me of Psalms 20:7, “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” While her answer wasn’t what I was looking for it was the best advice I could have received. Rarely are men going to be able to live up to our expectations but God will never fail. So lesson of the day: trust in God. That wasn’t as short and sweet as I had planned it to be, but that’s life. 

Be still. Say what?

“Be Still and Know That I Am God.” -Psalm 46:10

This is a verse that never fails to humble me. In todays culture the act of “being still” is becoming unheard of. We are always on the go, we want it done, done right and done now, as fast as it can be done. We are a culture that rarely takes time to stop. From microwavable food, net flicks, online shopping and to supermarkets; just about everything in life can be obtained in a matter of minutes. Things with God and in all relationships aren’t this way. Its one thing to know that He is God. Thats common knowledge, God is God. But to actually take the time and give him all that He deserves is another. Being still also requires that act of giving it all to God. I cant be still before God if my mind is running a billion miles an hour. In order to be still I actually have to give everything over to God and trust Him to handle it instead of me pointlessly concerning myself over the situation.

For me personally, I enjoy being busy. I love the rush of a crunch to get things done. When I’m pressed for time I tend to work more efficiently. The problem with this inner desire to be busy is that I tend to put God in a box. Very commonly I feel like I plan out a particular “time slot” for God. I wonder what the heck I’m thinking because duh Jordan you can’t put God in a box but then it happens all over again. This cycle is totally unintentional but the more that I look inwardly the more that I realize I do it. Just sitting calmly before God and allowing Him to speak is quite frankly inconvenient but oh so necessary. In my opinion that surrender of time and of my desires is when I see God working the most in my life. God is a jealous God and He wants to have that quality time with us. Its a relationship with God, not a religion. A relationship requires many things including daily work, quality time and lots of communication. You can’t build any strong relationship on a lack of communication. 

1st Thessalonians 5:17 says, “Pray without ceasing.” I am daily learning how important this verse is as I work on growing in my communication with God. I feel like if I could get these two verses down and to be able to be still and pray without ceasing then my relationship with God would see some major changes. I want to be a woman of prayer and a woman who is still and reverent before God. Daily I desire that opportunity to simply be still before God and to have that unceasing communication with Him. 

Game plan.

Game plan.

So what do you do when things don’t go as planned or as you expected them to? The chances of this happening are more likely than not. We are faced with the choice of either dwelling on the fact that they didn’t go like we had planned them to, or embracing the change and running with it trusting God along the way. I have learned that the latter is much easier said than done. I have also began to realize that, “Trusting God” is a lot harder than I ever thought it would be. Its one thing to “quote un-quote” trust in God in the simple things but to really devote totally trust and to give simply everything to Him is another. It calls for ridding myself of any control and to just doing exactly what God wants me, places my plans and desires subordinately. I strive to have this trust in God. The kind of blind trust where regardless of how I’m feeling, or what everyone else says is right, to be able to depend on God. I want to have a child like trust in my relationship with my savior. I think about how it was to be a kid and just hearing my parents say that everything was going to be okay, made everything okay. The kind of faith where my daddy was my super hero and the greatest thing in the world. Not to mention the fact that he knew everything and was never wrong. I want to have that childlike, fearful faith where what daddy said, was what happened, no questions asked. The thing is, that with God I have every reason to trust in Him and to trust His perfect plan for my life. In fact, its very asinine of me not to. 

“ Psalms 62:7-8 says, “In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.  Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us.”  

Psalms 139:9 says, “If I rise on the wings of dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea even there your hands will guide me.”

Romans 13:12-" Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful.”

Philippians 4:6- "Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. “

Romans 8:28- "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." 

Regardless of my situation or circumstance God is still in control. He is a refuge and a safe place to hide in the midst of the storm. So I know that when things don’t go as planned, my God is still faithful. When I don’t know where to go or which path to take, His hand will guide me. I just need to trust Him along the way and rest assure in the fact that He has a perfect plan for my life.

So what do you do when you think you know what your supposed to do and when your best council advises otherwise? Good question. I’m in the middle of trying to figure that one out myself. The one thing I do know however is that your supposed to trust God the whole way and that eventually its all going to work out. It probably won’t be your plan but His plans are a billion times better anyway. 

Simple things.

For me personally its the simple things in life that mean the very most. Tonight I had the privilege of just laying out side and looking at the stars. To me they are such so majestic but yet so simple because they’re always there. Many times I think that we almost become complacent about them because its common knowledge that they are there. Maybe I like them so much because they make me think. The very same God who made me, knows every, single star by name. That's almost incomprehensible to me and renders me speechless. If this God knows every star by name how much more must He know about me? Its really actually quite humbling for me; our God is so much bigger than my mind can fathom and He never ceases to amaze me.

Then another random simple thing that made my day was my little brother. He’s certainly not simple by any means but his simple acts of love spoke volumes. My brother is a whopping nine years old, and like any nine year old boy he is rambunctious and loaded with energy. He never, ever stops and just loves to find goofy ways to get on your nerves or to draw any emotion out of you. Other times however, he can be the sweetest boy in world, without even trying to be. Today he wanted to go to target with my sister and I so of course we let him tag along. It almost became a race to get to the door just so he could hold it open. This wasn’t something we told him to do it was just second nature. Then after he had purchased his new ironman toys we all decided we needed to make a Starbucks run. After we had all ordered he calmly said, “ I got this sis, I want to be your date today, any boy would be lucky to be your date.” While this may have been a simple and innocent act of kindness it meant the world to me. What nine year old boy would want to spend the little money he has on his sisters? It was so precious and so genuine. Then of course it reminded me about the way that God loves us. Each day He simply reminds us of His great love for us in the simplest and most obvious of ways. Its that real love and joy that comes from all the simple things in life. I think its as simple as the sunshine, or the smile of a friend, the peace in the rain or even the stars that we can so clearly see Gods love. 

So today, look for the simple things in life. Notice the cool breeze or the innocent laughter of a child and remember Gods great love for you. That perfect love, where He would send His only begotten son to die, on a cross for you and me. What love is more perfect than that?

oh Martha.

In Luke 10:38-42 we read about the story of Mary, Martha and the day that Jesus came to their house. Martha concerned herself with making preparations and getting all the things accomplished that needed to be done rather than sitting at Jesus's feet. Mary on the other hand eagerly listened to all that Jesus had to say as she cast any other distraction aside to spend that valuable time with Jesus. Martha, like most sisters, called Mary out on this only to be put in her place. Jesus' said, "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

I so wish that I could be Mary in this situation and in my everyday life. The truth of the matter is that more often than not, I can relate to Martha. While Martha wasn’t doing anything wrong, she wasn’t devoting all of her attention to Jesus. In my opinion it is so easy in todays society to get caught up in doing “all of the right things” that we tend to place the most important thing on the back burner. It is so easy to be busy going about and doing God’s work but in reality if we aren’t sitting eagerly at His precious feet then what good is it at all. Jesus points out bluntly that He is the only thing we need. Everything else in this world is trivial compared to Him. Why should we waste our time concerning ourselves with trivial things when we could be using that time to sit at Jesus’ feet? 

Passion.

PASSION is defined as any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate, BUT interestingly enough is later defined as the sufferings of Christ on the cross or His sufferings subsequent to the Last Supper. The narrative of Christ's sufferings as recorded in the Gospels. Humbling right? Or maybe thats just me. You see at the moment, this blog is stream of consciousness because I am overwhelmed with passion. The idea of passion simply that MY Jesus would suffer for me is incomprehensible. To even begin to fathom or try and establish this idea in my brain blows me away and renders me speechless. I feel like this is something that we all know but so many times seem to forget. We loose the passion and for get the definition of passion AKA the narrative of Christ's sufferings. The story of Jesus’ life and His sufferings are the definition of passion. Wow, try and get a load of that. 

Then of course my mind wanders to those awesome people in the bible. They were passionate about Jesus and He hadn’t even died for them yet. Ah its crazy. Abraham comes quickly to mind as I think of how he was so readily about to sacrifice his only because he was passionate about God and kept His promises to God. He had passion. Then I think about Cain and Able and how even then Abel was passionate about God because he brought God the BEST that he had. Noah comes quickly to mind as his passion is evident in the face of adversity and when he was constantly mocked by those around him. Their daunting remarks were trivial to the passion that he had for God. Then I think about the people who marched around the walls of Jericho and how their passion and their faith in God was so evident and made such an impact. 

Then, I think about me. Where is my passion? Is my faith so radical that I am living a life thats passionate for God? Do I ever take passion, Jesus passion for granted? Am I being all that I am called to be? Would I hear well done, good and faithful servant? Is my passionate for Jesus so evident? The answers to the questions are not only humbling but also so challenging to me. I wonder what life would be like if we lived with a passion. If our lives cried tears of passion. I wonder how things would be if that passion and that love was shared with everyone we encountered. 

ps. This was my first blog ever in my life ahhh